Get Nostalgic - Engineering Life

Here are some funny (and true) facts about the life of engineering students. You can decide for yourself if this is true or not, if you have led or are leading an engineering college life. This is also a chance for those who 'escaped' from there to get a little nostalgic... read on...

[A] Some Basic definitions.. 
Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.
Babe : Girls studying in other colleges...for mech guys, anything female.
Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback.
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is.
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time.. physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & 
                general everything
Tutions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....
Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.
Lecturer : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you 
               check me our journal." "You out get from class." "Are you Understand?" "Both of you two come here",
               "Draw a square of any shape") 
Practicals/Lab Work : 60 to 120 minutes in which you watch the girls do your experiment, and usually destroy a
                                 considerable array of lab equipment. 
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in your group (simply look blankly at each other, 
                               fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings. from the girls of course...or from 
                               guyz who get it from gals).

[B]. The Truth about exams.... 

Exams : A 3 hour long exercise to find out how fast you can write.
Timing : when ur non engineering GF/BF is free to enjoy while u slog with submissions & exams
Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...
Arrear (Supplementary) : Makes you suicidal at first...but later becomes a way of life...
Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.
Re-valuation: A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the arrear exam).

[C]. An engineering student's 10 engg commandments of Life 

1. Thou shalt study only during the study leave.
2. Thou shalt treat all marks above 35 as bonus.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy assignments journals/lab records only on the morning of submission, and only by
    copying.
4. Thou shalt spent as much money as possible and then borrow from girls
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen, theaters,clubs,pubs,discos etc etc but not 
    necessarily in class
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present.
9. If thou can't convince them, confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

Guys: Thou shalt treat and look upon all girls (esp. freshers) as your private property, and propose to as much 
          freshers as you can.
Girls: Thou shalt write all assignments and lab works promptly and timely so that guys can copy them from you.

[D]. The Years of Engineering 

F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering 

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

The following is an actual question given in a university chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.   Here is the "Bonus Question" on the exam:     Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?   Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:   First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.   So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.   Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.     This gives two possibilities:   1.. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2.. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.   So which is it?   If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa (a girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is Exothermic and has already frozen over.   The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."   THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."