A to Z of Stress Management

1.    Always take time for yourself, at least 30 minutes per day.

2.    Be aware of your own stress meter: Know when to step back and cool down.

3.    Concentrate on controlling your own situation, without controlling everybody else.

4.    Daily exercise will burn off the stress chemicals.

5.    Eat lots of fresh fruit, veggies, bread and water, give your body the best for it to perform at its best.

6.    Forgive others, don't hold grudges and be tolerant -- not everyone is as capable as you.

7.    Gain perspective on things, how important is the issue?

8.    Hugs, kisses and laughter: Have fun and don't be afraid to share your feelings with others.

9.    Identify stressors and plan to deal with them better next time.

10. Judge your own performance realistically; don't set goals out of your own reach.

11. Keep a positive attitude, your outlook will influence outcomes and the way others treat you

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12. Limit alcohol, drugs and other stimulants, they affect your perception and behavior.

13. Manage money well, seek advice and save at least 10 per cent of what you earn.

14. No is a word you need to learn to use without feeling guilty.

15. Outdoor activities by yourself, or with friends and family, can be a great way to relax.

16. Play your favorite music rather than watching television.

17. Quit smoking: It is stressing your body daily, not to mention killing you too.

18. Relationships: Nurture and enjoy them, learn to listen more and talk less.

19. Sleep well, with a firm mattress and a supportive pillow; don't overheat yourself and allow plenty of ventilation.

20. Treat yourself once a week with a massage, dinner out, the movies: Moderation is the key.

21. Understand things from the other person's point of view.

22. Verify information from the source before exploding.

23. Worry less, it really does not get things completed better or quicker.

24. Xpress: Make a regular retreat to your favorite space, make holidays part of your yearly plan and budget.

25. Yearly goal setting: Plan what you want to achieve based on your priorities in your career, relationships, etc.

26. Zest for life: Each day is a gift, smile and be thankful that you are a part of the bigger picture. 

Me and My Boss

ME and My BOSS

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

IT Industry Learnings

As a part of the IT Industry, everybody has learned a few things. Here is a list of things that I have compiled that I have learnt.

IT Consultant

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.

The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd: If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?" 

Software Engineer and his wife

Software engineer and his wife ..
Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Huband and Wife's SQL Query

Ever thought if Husband and wife had to write their wishes in a query how would they do it.
I had received this sometime back and it gives an SQL kind of fun to the husband wife jokes.

Working for the best firm

One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk. They were old buddies from engg college, and they were together for a college reunion.. 

For no apparent reason, they went into this zoo and passed a monkey. Being in the same business and from the same college, there was a little bit of a peer competition going on between themselves - they couldn't resist testing themselves against each other - especially the Infosys guy. 

Top Six Reasons Why Computers Are Women

The Top Six Reasons Why Computers Are Women  

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to  
   everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why  
   I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck 
   on accessories for it. 

Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife

Problem in System and Solution by Tech Support Department Software

Engineer writes .............

Subject : Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system Initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance Drunk'n'Naked 2.0 and Bachlor Party 7.77. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the un-install does not work on this program. once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error "General Protection Fault in module House Security. The Uninstallation will abort."

Can you help me, please!!!

Reply from Tech. Support Dear Software Engineer,

Ref : Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support" which was given to you at the time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. 

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE. Infact I would suggest u to use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5 which will improve the performance of Wife 1.0. 

WARNING : Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system. 

Best of luck.

Tech Support.

Different Types of Woman

Different types Of Women

______________________

HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off. 

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful. 

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything. 

Software Engineer Vs Cafeteria Waiter

Software Engineer Vs Cafeteria Waiter

A Senior Software Engineer working in an MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the Cafeteria for coffee.

He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there. To kill time he decides to have fun with him. He calls him.

Engineer - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?

Canteen boy smiles...

Engineer - what are your future plans?

Canteen boy keeps quiet...

Engineer - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?

Canteen boy gives a cold stare.

Engineer - Jab mai Bangalore aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi tha (When I came to Bangalore I had nothing) Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai... (Today I have everything)

naam hai......... (Name)

shohrat hai......... (Fame)

paisa hai......... (Money)

Izzat Hai......... (Respect)



Tumhare paas kya hai? (What do you have?)
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Don't think that he answered like Shashi Kapoor of Deewar ki " Mere
paas Maa hain"


Just Scroll some more........-......

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Canteen boy - Sa'ab... mere paas bahut KAAM hai.... (Sir, I have work)


Senior software engineer leaves the cafeteria silently....-... :-)