Asking for Salary Raise

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

 
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon

Your$ $incerely,
Norman $ood

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the world may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.


Yours truly,

A to Z of Stress Management

1.    Always take time for yourself, at least 30 minutes per day.

2.    Be aware of your own stress meter: Know when to step back and cool down.

3.    Concentrate on controlling your own situation, without controlling everybody else.

4.    Daily exercise will burn off the stress chemicals.

5.    Eat lots of fresh fruit, veggies, bread and water, give your body the best for it to perform at its best.

6.    Forgive others, don't hold grudges and be tolerant -- not everyone is as capable as you.

7.    Gain perspective on things, how important is the issue?

8.    Hugs, kisses and laughter: Have fun and don't be afraid to share your feelings with others.

9.    Identify stressors and plan to deal with them better next time.

10. Judge your own performance realistically; don't set goals out of your own reach.

11. Keep a positive attitude, your outlook will influence outcomes and the way others treat you

.

12. Limit alcohol, drugs and other stimulants, they affect your perception and behavior.

13. Manage money well, seek advice and save at least 10 per cent of what you earn.

14. No is a word you need to learn to use without feeling guilty.

15. Outdoor activities by yourself, or with friends and family, can be a great way to relax.

16. Play your favorite music rather than watching television.

17. Quit smoking: It is stressing your body daily, not to mention killing you too.

18. Relationships: Nurture and enjoy them, learn to listen more and talk less.

19. Sleep well, with a firm mattress and a supportive pillow; don't overheat yourself and allow plenty of ventilation.

20. Treat yourself once a week with a massage, dinner out, the movies: Moderation is the key.

21. Understand things from the other person's point of view.

22. Verify information from the source before exploding.

23. Worry less, it really does not get things completed better or quicker.

24. Xpress: Make a regular retreat to your favorite space, make holidays part of your yearly plan and budget.

25. Yearly goal setting: Plan what you want to achieve based on your priorities in your career, relationships, etc.

26. Zest for life: Each day is a gift, smile and be thankful that you are a part of the bigger picture. 

Me and My Boss

ME and My BOSS

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

IT Industry Learnings

As a part of the IT Industry, everybody has learned a few things. Here is a list of things that I have compiled that I have learnt.

A Software Engineer's Agony

I start my day by sitting on a chair,
giving my monitor a hard,cold stare,
       
By evening I'm done with another coding,
Oh! this has become a routine so boring.
       
Like all, i entered this field with great hope,
jobs were many and there was plenty of scope,
       
Dreams of joining the likes of Gates,
and a chance to make money in the states.
       
Thus, i entered the world of bytes,
only to realize that reality bites,
       
Coz a programmer's life, isn't all that cozy,
the bed of software, isn't all that rosy.
       
Seeing the monitor all day n night,
have taken the power of my eyesight,
       
Working holidays, busy weekends,
no time for family, no time for friends,
       
My job steals most of my time,
helplessly, i watch this crime.
       
just for few bits of money,
I forego those moments with my honey,
       
When i should be out - having fun,
I'm telling a comp, what's to be done.
       
I hate u, yet i cant get away,
coz, i need the money u pay,
       
God, to thee i pray,
if there be one - show me the way     

Love Letter from HR Manager

Hi!  Ever wondered how a HR Manager could write a love  letter to his girlfriend ???

To,

Juliet

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

                    I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October(Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.Our love affairwould be on probation for a period of three months and depending oncompatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performanceappraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

                    The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

                   I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter,failing which, this offer would be  cancelled without further notice and Ishall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo
HR Manager

Top Six Reasons Why Computers Are Women

The Top Six Reasons Why Computers Are Women  

6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to  
   everyone else.
2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why  
   I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE:

1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck 
   on accessories for it.